Full of Regrets
by Merlinsbiggestfanever
Summary: Set between series 2 and 3. What happened to Morgana that made her so evil and wanting revenge.
1. The poisoning

My take on what happened to Morgana in the year between season 2 and 3 and what made her so evil. It is about how Morgause corrupted and manipulated her, and how she was betrayed.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Merlin, but I do love it extremely much!

_Note: _The first chapter is the scene from 2x12, where Merlin poisons Morgana.

Please read & review

**Full of Regrets**

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Merlin turned to Morgana.

"Here, have some water." He urged her, handing her a pouch of poisoned water.

Morgana looked up at him and shook her head. "I'm not thirsty." She replied.

Merlin tried to think of a half decent excuse to convince her to drink it.

"If we get out of here you may not get another chance to drink."

"_If_ we get out of here." She said with a lot of doubt.

Both Merlin and Morgana heard Arthur yell from outside the throne room. Merlin walked towards the two doors down the other end of the room, handing Morgana the pouch of poisoned water. She threw it down beside her and continued to tear the cloth. Merlin picked up the pouch as he walked back, thinking of another way he could convince her to drink it.

He turned his back to Morgana and pretended to drink from the pouch. He wondered if she was even paying attention. He turned back to face her and handed her the pouch.

"Here." he said.

"I'm fine." She refused.

"No, no, you have some before I finish it." He urged.

She looked up with him with a smile and took it from his hand.

"Thank you." She said. Her green eyes looked straight into his blue eyes.

She took the lid of the pouch and started gulping the poisoned water down her throat. Merlin watched her drink down the poison, but then couldn't bear to watch. He turned so he wasn't facing Morgana, and started wiping the tears streaming down his face with the sleeve of his brown jacket.

She finished the water and placed the empty pouch beside her. Within seconds the poison was kicking in. First, she coughed. It sounded like she was just clearing her throat after drinking a large amount of water, but Merlin knew that she wasn't. She then grabbed onto her neck and began to gasp for air, realising what had just happened. Realising that Merlin had betrayed her, and poisoned her. Her lips were quivering, and tears were sitting in her eyes. She started gasping more and more. She was struggling to breathe.

Merlin wiped even more tears from his face. He turned around and crouched down to Morgana. She was absolutely terrified of him, herself, of everything. She was crying as she was gasping for air. Merlin tried to pull her into his arms and hold her, but she began fighting him away with the little bit of strength left in her. Eventually, it became too much for her and she became too weak. She clenched onto the shoulder of his jacket, turned around, and sunk into his arms.

Merlin couldn't watch anymore. He looked up, his arms wrapped around Morgana. Still gasping for air, her face was going paler and sweat was dripping down her forehead. She took her final breath, and every motion in her just stopped. The tears on her face began to dry up.

Still holding on to her, with regret in his eyes, Merlin had realised what he had just done. He realised that she was dead, and he was the one to kill her.

Sensing her sister's distress, Morgause destroyed one of the doors to the throne room, and ran over to her sister, who was lying dead in Merlin's arms.

Morgause dropped to her knees and snatched Morgana from Merlin. "What has he done to you?!" she asked.

"I had to." Merlin panted.

"You poisoned her," Morgause said with shock.

Merlin stood up. "You gave me no choice."

"Tell me what you used and I can save her!" Morgause begged, looking down on Morgana.

"First, stop the attack!" Merlin responded.

Morgause looked up at him like he was crazy. "You're nothing but a simple servant, you won't tell me what to do!"

"If you want to know what poison it is, you will undo the magic that drives the knights!" Merlin said firmly.

"Tell me the poison or you'll die!" Morgause demanded.

"But she'll die with me" Merlin stated.

Morgause started to tear up. She looked down and hugged her sister.

"I don't want this anymore than you." Merlin said. "But you give me no choice."

Morgause looked up at him.

"Stop the knights, and you can save her."

Morgause said a spell that caused the knights of Medhir to collapse onto the ground.

Merlin showed her the bottle of Hemlock which he used to poison Morgana. Morgause took it from his hands.

Arthur ran into the throne room. "What have you done with my father?" he yelled.

"He's safe!" Merlin told him.

Uther started to wake up, although he was unaware of what was going on around him.

"Morgana!?" Arthur yelled.

"Keep away from her!" Morgause ordered.

Arthur got ready to strike at Morgause.

Whilst holding Morgana, Morgause said a spell which caused both Morgana and herself disappeared.

Uther, now aware of what is happening, ran over to try and save Morgana from being taken by Morgause, but by then they had already disappeared.

Morgana was gone.


	2. Who can you trust?

Here is the next chapter. Please read & review.

Hope you enjoy.

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The spell that caused Morgause to disappear with Morgause transported the pair to a small, abandoned castle, just where Morgause wanted to be. She placed Morgana on the stone floor and said a spell which saved Morgana. Morgana slowly started opening her eyes, she was alive. She looked around and sat up in shock.

"W-Where am I?" She said in fear.

Morgause pushed Morgana's shoulder to make her lie down.

"Shh Morgana, you're still weak."

"What happened? Why am I here?" Morgana was desperate for answers.

Morgause smirked. "Don't you remember?"

Morgana sat up and started to think back on what happened. "I was poisoned..."

Morgause crouched down to Morgana. "You're lucky to be alive. I had to take you away from Camelot. I found out what the poison was and I was able to save you."

Morgana wasn't really listening to what Morgause had to say. She was upset and hurt about the fact that Merlin betrayed her.

"Morgana?" Morgause asked.

No response.

"Morgana?" She said firmly.

"Wha-uh, thank you for saving me." Morgana sighed.

Morgause placed her hand on Morgana's shoulder in a friendly way and looked straight into her green eyes. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you. No one is going to hurt you."

Morgana smiled. She looked down and blinked away the tears that were sitting in her eyes. She knew that the betrayal of Merlin would haunt her for a long time.

Morgause knew that something was troubling her. "We will get our revenge, sister. You don't have to worry. Soon we will bring the kingdom to its downfall."

Morgana nodded her head.

"You're still not strong enough. You'll need to rest for the day." Morgause said as she left Morgana to rest.

Morgana studied every detail of the room trying to distract herself from reality. "I can't believe he poisoned me." She whispered to herself.

Morgause turned and faced Morgana. "Morgana, you can't let these things bring you down. Soon, we will take our revenge. On the kingdom, on everyone. Arthur and that servant boy included."

Morgana started to slide herself away from Morgause and shook her head. "No, I don't want that. I just want Uther gone and for people with Magic to be free and not have the fear of being caught." She cried.

Morgause looked confused when she looked at her.

"You can't trust them Morgana. Arthur is no different than his father. That servant poisoned you. Doesn't that show how much he cares for you? He obviously doesn't if he tried to kill you. We have to win this, Morgana, and it is the only way to do it."

Morgana still seemed very doubtful about it, but she just nodded her head like she agrees with what Morgause had to say.

"Now please rest Morgana. You'll never fully recover if you don't" Morgause said.

_**A few weeks later**_

Back in Camelot, things are far from perfect. They have cleaned up after the dragon attack and the castle is back to normal, but Uther is desperate to find Morgana.

Arthur walked into the throne room. Uther stood up from the throne as Arthur approached him.

"Any luck? Have you found her?" Uther asked desperately.

"No sign of her anywhere." Arthur reported.

Uther frowned. "Nonsense! There must be a trail or something." Uther yelled.

"I'm sorry, father." Arthur sighed.

"We cannot let Morgause get away with this! Morgana must be found." Uther cried.

"Sire, the whole of Camelot has been searched. The villages and every bit of land. There is no trace of her anywhere." Leon stated.

"Then send some knights outside Camelot. I will not rest until Morgana is found!" Uther ordered.

All the knights, except Arthur, bowed and left the throne room.

"You know that you are sending knights to their death. The places you are sending them are full of bandits and people who don't want them around. They will be killed. You're going to lose more and more knights each day." Arthur told his father.

"We have to find her. Whatever the cost." Uther whispered.

"We will find her, father. We will bring her back to Camelot. She will be alright." Arthur promised.

Uther shook his head. "I can't believe Morgause took her. I made a promise to her father that I'd protect her, and now I've lost her."

Uther turned around and looked out the window. He was desperate to see one of his knights, or anyone in general, carrying Morgana into Camelot.

Arthur left the throne room and went to his chambers.

_*knock, knock*_

"Come in." Arthur said. "Guinevere."

Gwen was wearing a light purple dress with white frilly trim around the top of it. On top of the dress was white corset and apron. The corset had brown flowers and purple birds printed on it. Her curly hair was sitting over one shoulder.

"I came to see if you were alright." Gwen smiled.

Arthur shook his head. "It's been weeks now and we still haven't found her." He sighed.

"It has only been a couple of weeks. Give it some time, she will be found." Gwen said, trying to sound reassuring.

"My father is becoming more and more broken every day. This castle isn't the same without her. She'd always bring joy here. She was always smiling and she always manages to brighten up the room." Arthur remembered.

"And when she gets back, things will be normal again." Gwen said, but her words were sounding less and less convincing.

"What if we don't find her?" Arthur sighed.

"We will." Gwen said.

Gwen left Arthur's chambers as Merlin walked in.

"About time." Arthur said.

"Sorry, but washing your royal socks isn't the most pleasant of duties." Merlin laughed.

Normally Arthur would laugh and say some witty comment, but he was too upset about Morgana to be happy.

"I promised my father that we will find Morgana. I want to find her; I just don't think we will. What if Morgause has done something to her?" Arthur asked.

"I'm sure she hasn't harmed her." Merlin whispered.

"We're going to the outskirts of Camelot tomorrow to try and search for her. I need you to clean my chainmail. We ride early tomorrow." Arthur told Merlin.

"Yes, sire." Merlin said as he grabbed the chainmail and took it to be cleaned.


End file.
